My mother is recovering from breast cancer treatments, and her JW “friends”?
PediC asked:
are pressuring her to go door-to-door in the recruiting work, despite her fatigue. I’m worried sick about her recovery. How would you encourage her to forget the works requirement of her religion and focus on her recovery?
it’s obvious some of you have no idea of the toll of chemotherapy and radiation. so glad you have all the answers for something you know nothing of.
are pressuring her to go door-to-door in the recruiting work, despite her fatigue. I’m worried sick about her recovery. How would you encourage her to forget the works requirement of her religion and focus on her recovery?
it’s obvious some of you have no idea of the toll of chemotherapy and radiation. so glad you have all the answers for something you know nothing of.
Tell her that her JW pals are evil people….
they are….
God expects all of us to rest when our bodies need it…without proper rest and recovery..we won’t do anybody any good.
Door-to-door is a requirement of her religion….it is not a requirement from God.
you think they’d be more understanding about her condition. tell her that her health should come first. She can pray at home and when she goes to church. all that going door-to-door in her state could send her back into the hospital. if that happens sue the “friends” who were pressuring her and make them pay the bills.
According to their book, even god rested.
If she wants to go, she’ll go. Luckily, the witnessing work only includes walking and talking, with many breaks in the walking. I think she’ll be alright, as long as she knows her body well enough to know when to come back home and rest.
Peace.
That alone should tell her that she may be in the wrong place…
I hope your mom recovers quickly, and remains cancer free
This is a prime indicator of why this dangerous cult should be avoided. I wish your mother all the best for her recovery. She would do well to get away from these awful people
I am surprised that they are not more focused on her recovery. In my opinion they are not friends!!!
Speak with them, speak with your mother, and if there are other family members you can rally together to assist do so.
I hope your mother beats this, and best wishes to you.
Speak to the elders of the congregation. Perhaps they don’t know (because your mom doesn’t tell them) how exhausted she is.
If you still don’t get a satisfactory reply, point out to her that it’s totally biblical to rest in times of illness.
I’m not a JW, but know many, and when there were bona-fide problems they left the field service for as long as necessary.
That’s why she has Doctors ~ if you are that concerned call the doctor about your concerns and if HE is equally concerned he’ll ask her to come see him.
Otherwise, perhaps her SERVICE through church gives her added strength, focus on something ELSE and courage, comfort etc that will also AID in her recovery. Just because you don’t understand or believe as she does - doesn’t mean this doesn’t do something beneficial for her - even if it is just INSIDE. You sound like a good caring daughter - but SHE is a grown woman and SHE KNows what she needs…. give her some credit and support in this avenue too I would suggest.
Your mom needs her rest. G-d will understand if she cant do what her church requirers her to do.
That is not pressuring, it is encouragement. I’m sure that they would not ask anything that would be to her injury, but if one believes as JW’s do, engaging in the life-saving preaching work is like therapy and would do her more good than sitting at home brooding about her condition. I’m also sure that they would give her every help she needed and not ask more than she felt she could or wanted to.
tlak to her friends and let them know that she is medically/physically unfit to do this now!!
Your mom knows how to take care of herself and follow her own beliefs. Respect her right to annoy the rest of us on Saturday mornings.
Kick her “friends” out, and take care of Mom yourself.
Once she feels a bit better, work on getting her into a more reasonable church…
Her “friends” sound horribly selfish and quite out of touch with reality.
You could try telling your mother that if she pushes herself too hard she will make herself much sicker and will be unable to take part in church activities for a longer period of time than if she takes it easy now and gives herself time to recover.
Cancer treatments can be brutal; my mother went through several months of chemo before she passed away. I wish you and your family all the best.
Oh boy, Pedi, I’d have to bite my tongue very hard on this one if it were my mom.
I’m sure there would be several things I’d do — or be mightily tempted to do — but just about the only thing I can think of that would respect her beliefs while also helping to safeguard her health would be this:
“Mom, if you go back to field service too soon before your body is recovered, it’s likely to land you flat on your back again. It’s nice to know that your sisters miss you, but I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to overdo it either. It wouldn’t be very good for you to pass out on someone’s porch, would it?”
I have no idea if there’s something sedentary she can do for them while she’s recovering, but it’d be good to ask.
If all else fails and the “sisters” are getting entirely too pushy, I’d probably bar the door and unplug the phone. But that falls into those “other things” that probably aren’t appropriate.
(A very late edit: Moses Beyond’s answer is “beyond” something, all right. What unbelievable cheek. Now I see where all the thumbs-down’s to any but JW answers may have come from.)
my mum has recently been given the all clear,some days the fatigue was worse than others.Talk to your mum tell her how you feel,you could also talk to her friends explain your concerns them.
Do you have someone you can talk to,a relative?.Your having to deal with alot at moment.I get the feeling your a teen?
those are not true friends…. a true friend will let someone recover being demanding they go door-to-door pestering…
Pedi, Your mom and mine are in the same situation. Unfortunately, even if their elders and congregation members spoke not another word about “field service,” it’s already too ingrained in them. They’ve been trained to police themselves and constantly feel guilty for not being able to “do more.” (Of course, the actions of their “brothers and sisters” can, and often do, exacerbate the situation.)
My mom is so depressed and it wouldn’t surprise me one bit to find out the same is true of your mom, and multitudes of other JWs (even ones in good health) who are buckling under the constant pressure to “do more.”
When our works come from any source other than the Spirit of God working in and through us, burn out is imminent and depression is sure to follow.
Such is the way with works-based religions. But there is not one thing we can do about it. Any change that comes will be a result of God breaking through to them. We can pray to that end, and take every opportunity that they give us to show them the true Gospel, the one based on grace through faith.
Your family is in my prayers.
In HIS Grace,
Kimberly
aka “Blessed”
Edit: Oh, silly me. I didn’t realize we had two doctors, AoCaffeine and Barney, present. By all means, encourage her to proceed with field service…. I’m sure fighting cancer and enduring chemo isn’t really THAT bad?!?!
Seems that we can never get away from the works of the wBS.
I am so sorry that they still have any impact on your life.
There is money to be made for the wBS and magazines to sell and followers to program damnit….
How about the scripture that says there is a time to laugh and a time to cry …Isn’t there a time to heal also?
best wishes…K
Sorry to hear about your Mom. I will continue to pray that God’s loving hand will be upon her and help her with what she is going through.
I am a born again Christian and we love all people because we are taught to love by God who is love.
I was once a Jehovah’s Witness and all I would recommend for you to tell her is that God understands that she needs to rest.
Tell her to read the bible and spend time in prayer. Also if she is worried about her hours getting low because I know they have to report time at the end of the month of how many hours they have spent in the ministry, just tell her that you would like to read the bible with her.
Since you are not a witness she will still be able to count her time and never have to leave the comfort of her own home.
I hope and pray your Mom gets better. You will both be in my prayers.
Love a born again Christian
If nothing else works, try the account of Job. While Satan was messing with Job’s life, Job got to a point where all he could do was sit around until he had recovered.
(Job 2:13) . . .And they kept sitting with him on the earth seven days and seven nights, and there was no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that the pain was very great.
Job’s friends didn’t even talk to him so as to not disturb his recovery effort.
Also, James 5:14 says, “Is there anyone sick among YOU? Let him call the older men of the congregation to [him], and let them pray over him, greasing [him] with oil in the name of Jehovah. ”
The “older men” are to come to the sick person, not the other way around. The idea is that your mother needs to make a full recovery AT HOME and God will not count it against her for not doing this or that while she’s still physically weak. Tell her that this is a time to fortify herself spiritually from the Bible. My circuit overseer said a few years ago that Bible reading is one of two ways to get God’s holy spirit. The other way is prayer. Tell her this, and maybe she’ll cool her jets about peddling magazines until she’s better. In fact, it might do her some good to read the Bible alone without magazines and books to detract from its true message!
God bless!
I am sorry to hear about your mother’s health and wish her the best. With regards to “it’s the best therapy” - is that really what’s best for her? These people do not have her best interests at heart. Jehovah tells us to treat our bodies as a temple, that would include taking the necessary rest required to ensure that our health is taken care of. Soon after our parents died, my brother and I were given the same logic. We were pressured into full fledged field service, being told it was what was best for us. We were not allowed time to grieve, and we both suffered post-traumatic stress syndrome. Our mental health was not taken care of and now, as young adults, we both suffer from sever bipolar depression. We were not allowed to see a therapist or even a doctor. As a family member it can be really difficult to reason with somebody who holds their JW “friends” standards and expectations as more important than what their needs are. I hope she is able to get the rest she needs, maybe you could reason with her and say that she needs to be in good health to be able to give the best that she can give in the field ministry. It might work…
Dear PediC,
You’ve received many excellent answers so I can’t do much more than add my prayers to theirs and especially to Jason’s.
I’m wondering if deep in her heart she might just be hoping that you will play the Bad Guy role and unplug that phone and throw the switch so the doorbell doesn’t ring.
When my children were growing up there were times that they really did not want to do what their friends asked them to do but they could not bring themselves to say “No”. I told them that I loved them (still do) enough to be the bad guy and that they were welcome to use me as an excuse. Maybe you are going to have to become the mom to your mom.
I’m going to send this question to a friend who is a recent breast cancer survivor.
For His glory,
JOYfilled
A large part of the problem is your mom is probably afraid of dying & being judged so she pushes herself trying to earn her rewards.
In Isaiah it says they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, not those running around knocking on doors.
It was enough that Christ died for her. If she could save herself by works she wouldn’t need the Lord.
She needs to get alone with the Lord and ask Him to speak to her heart. Wait upon Him & quit listening to man. The will of God won’t put you where the grace of God can’t sustain you.
The woman with the issue of blood wasn’t told to go preach. The lepers who were healed were told to tell no one. The list goes on & on. In every healing never once did He tell them to go preaching door to door to earn their healing.
Ask her if you were recovering from breast cancer treatments would she expect you to run errands several hours a day. When she says no ask why. If you keep asking it right she’ll eventually say the reason is because she loves you & doesn’t want you to risk getting sicker. When she says this then ask her, “Does that mean you care more about me than God does?”
Sometimes like Nathan did with King David you have to make them see using a story of someone else. Then hit them with the truth of what they are doing before they’ll stop. The sin is different but it still needs the same rod of truth. I honestly believe that sometimes “doing” is the sin. Sometimes God just wants us to rest in His love.
World English Bible
Yahweh, your God, is in the midst of you, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with joy. He will calm you in his love. He will rejoice over you with singing.
Thank God He gives His children rest. Sometimes He allows sickness to slow us down so we’ll spend time with Him instead of in our works.
Well, you could point out that JW’s are full of crap. Just do this:
Jehovah’s Witnesses main denial and stumbling block is the doctrine of the deity of Jesus Christ. For that reason, we in ministering to Jehovah’s Witnesses, we need to deal with that specifically.
There are many passages that show the clear teaching of the deity of Jesus Christ. Jehovah Witnesses love the book of Revelation more than any other Book in the Bible. And since they love it so much, you might as well use it with them.
Ron brought out his Bible and smiled. “Let’s begin and you will see something very interesting develop here,” he promised.
Ron turned to Revelation 1:8,
“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.”
Ron asked them, “Who is speaking here? I am the Alpha and Omega, says who?” The younger man answered, ” Says the Lord God - Jehovah - God!”.
“You are absolutely right, ” Ron answered. “We believe that the Alpha and Omega is Jehovah God, just as it says.”
Ron continued, “Turn to Revelation 21: 5-7. ”
“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
He said to me: “It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To him who is thirsty I will give to drink without cost from the spring of the water of life.
He who overcomes will inherit all this, and I will be his God and he will be my son. ”
Here again we see the identification that Alpha and Omega is Jehovah God. The Watchtower visitors smiled broadly and immediately agreed with Ron. ” You are absolutely right,” said the elder of the two. ” We believe that Alpha and Omega is “Jehovah God. That’s what it says.”
“Turn to Revelation 22,” Ron continued, “beginning with verse 13.”
“I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”
Again, the visitors responded that it referred to Jehovah God, the Father.
Ron said, “There’s just one more verse, do you think you could help me with it?”
“Oh,” they said, “We’d be glad to.” They openly smiling now as Ron appeared to grasp their understanding of Jehovah God.
Ron was on a real roll, now. He said, “It’s Revelation 1:17-18. Will you read it for me?” he asked.
They turned in their Watchtower Bible and the elder one began to read.
“When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last.
Ron said, “Stop. I’ve been trying to figure out who the first and the last is. Tell me who he is.”
They said, “We just saw who the first and the last is. The first and the last is Jehovah God.”
Ron said, “You mean to tell me the first and the last is Jehovah God?
They said, “Of course he’s Jehovah God.”
Ron replied, “Well, keep reading.”
“I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.
There was a hush that followed. Ron then asked them, “When did Jehovah die?” When did God die?” There was no answer as the men stared silently into their scriptures.
Finally the man who did most of the talking said, ” I have never seen that before.”
“Well,” Ron answered, “Is this your own Bible, published by the Watchtower?”
He said, “Well yes, but I’ve never seen that before.”
Ron again asked them, “So, tell me. When did Jehovah die?” They just kept looking at the verse.
At last, he quietly answered, “But Jesus died.”
Ron said, “Oh, you mean Jesus is Jehovah God?”
He said, “Well, no. He can’t be.”
“Why not,” Ron asked?
“Well, if Jesus is Jehovah God, that would change everything else in the Bible. everything else we believe about him.”
” You know, that’s what I thought too,” Ron answered.”
The older man stood. “We have to leave now.”
Ron said, “Sir, could you find out for me when Jehovah died? Would you go back to your Kingdom Hall and ask your overseer when did Jehovah die? When you get the answer could you bring your Watchtower leaders back to my house so they could tell me? I would really appreciate that.” Needless to say, they never returned.
I am concerned.
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 may help. Pleas note verse 3.
1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
9 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
10 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
___________
And undoubtably it is important to move about and exercise the body and to to things that will enhance the mental frame of mind I do not see door-to-door work as beneficial. Door-to door work is not what the Master, the Great Teacher, explains in the Book of Ecclesiastes.
Something like gardening wherein a person plants, prunes, waters, and attends is more the idea. To take walks enjoying the company of family and friends, enjoying the garden God has provided us to live in today.
The joy of seeing the accomplishments of our children and our children’s children loving them and delighting that God Almighty has blessed us to be the one these came through.
Baking bread, sharing a meal, creating an artwork, writing of God, all these things and more are part of recovery.
The Watchtower destroys many things and it leads to ruin.
Does she have an area to plant - buy her a great number of plants to tend, leave them anonymously if needed. Ask her somehow to personally care for these plants.
Something, anything to get her to enjoy what God has given us.
God Almighty does not ask more of us than we are capable of doing.
For each person there are different thing and abilities. If one thing is not in her ability then God is directing her to do another.
For some it is to minister for another it is to be a listening ear, for another it is to farm, and another to teach.
It is time for her to recover and enjoy what in God has blessed her.
Are we not to tend the Garden. Is this not what God commands in Genesis. Is not a Woman and a man’s garden the family and land that is been given for stewardship? Is there a point in time where a person stops working for a multi-billion dollar publishing entity and cares for their own? Where any of the seventy-two sent forth to set up a time and place for Jesus to come and minister in their town female? This is unlikely.
I am concerned. Continuing to seek approval from the WT such a door-to-door distribution while needing to heal can lead to a negative frame of mind in blatant and subtle ways such as failure to reach a receptive person or failing to explain the WT doctrine in a way that a person will feed into it.
The below does not only apply to younger women but even more so for the older woman.
Tts 2:3 The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
What are “good things”?
Titus 2:4-5 “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Here the wife is commanded to love her husband. She must do this and in so doing support, comfort, console, encourage and stand back of him in his life’s work, his burdens and all of his doings. She is also commanded to love her children and in so doing she will properly care for them, guide, teach, and train them. She is also commanded to be a keeper at home and to be obedient to her own husband. The wife is to be the homemaker and to keep and maintain her house in a proper and attractive manner. If a woman does not maintain her home and herself in a proper manner and keep her house in order, her marriage is going to suffer and not be what God ordained it to be.
Older women are to teach:
Women are to be keepers in the home and support the Husband in thier work(ministry) Older women are to teach the younger to do this. Not once does the bible say they should not work out side of the home but mainly the home and it domain belong to the woman and the husband deals with the outside world in these things.
The WT enslaves women and men to work for them no matter the cost.
Any man or organization Any man who stretches the Scripture to do door-to-door work surely misses the mark and cannot expect God’s blessings on his or her life.
Shame one the WT to press the ill into sales work.
I am concern that she will not understand or accept anything that you send or tell her to explain what is truth from the scriptures.
Should women be ministers? Absolutely. But there is a time to heal.
Should women teach? Absolutely, But there is a time to build up.
Galatians 3:28 says, “…there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”
If a women chooses to be a wife and a mother then the pattern is set - this is what she has chosen and what God wants for her.
If a women choses otherwise then God blesses her endeavor to serve Him in that capacity.
Her husband.
Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” Saviour is defined as “A person who rescues someone from dire circumstances.” This is applied principally to Christ; but in this text it is also applied to the husband with his wife. The way the husband is the saviour of his wife’s body is by nourishing, strengthening, comforting her, supporting and upholding her, bearing her burdens, shouldering the long end of the burdens and responsibilities of the home and family, and by always standing by her as a present help in any time of trouble.
Your father if he is still alive and present should step in and protect her.
Perhaps an appeal to him your father will correct the error of the enslavement to work by the WT.
He is to protect and care for her.
I sincerely hope that from these answers in Y! you have received that you may find a way through our Lord and Saviour to help relieve the nonsense she has been taught and being pushed into today.
First thing would be to pray for her and to get every Christian you know of to pray for her also. Second thing would be to shower her with your love and, if possible, spend lots of time with her - helping out, talking, just being a friend.
The other thing that might work, is to suggest she can do her witnessing from the comfort of her own home - like on Yahoo! R & S. I know where your’e coming from on this one - I used to be a JW and I know how much pressure is brought to bear on getting those hours down on the time sheet. Trying to prove how unnecessary this is from God’s point of view could be counter-productive.
Just let her know how much you love her and care for her, take it up in prayer and unburden yourself at the foot of the cross. I haven’t read any of the answers you’ve been given yet, but I do know that Christians can add nothing to what Jesus did at Calvary. I pray your mother will come to know Jesus Christ as her Lord and Saviour.
Cancer is EVERYONE’S enemy. I’ve had at least 2 relatives go through various treatments.
First, especially given her condition, trying to push her to disregard her beliefs is a BAD idea.
A simple solution, if she is so determined, is to help her. Example, if she wants to share with others, suggest doing so over the phone, in little increments.
Example, maybe on a good day, an hour, on a bad one, 15 minutes AT the most.
If you try to focus on helping her heal, but show honor for her, as your mother, it should go smoother.
I am a Christian, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
My mother suffered from cancer for quite a while and it took a heavy toll on her body.
These people are not her friends at all and she needs to understand that. Her friends will be the ones who tell her that her health is more important to God then trying to win others over.
Once she is well then she would be strong enough to do any of that. But for now she needs to concentrate on her health. God loves us and tells us in 3 John 2 that he wishes above all things for us to be healthy and to prosper, even as our soul prospers.
She will not prosper and her soul will not prosper if she drives herself to an even worse state health wise.
Perhaps you could show her that verse and explain that God wants her to get better before she tries to run around for anyone else. And that these so called friends do not have her best interest at heart.
If we drive ourselves to an early grave it does not profit anyone. Especially not God.
And also, one of the Jehovah names is Jehovah - Rafah meaning God the healer. So God considers health very very important.
Psalms 116:15 KJV
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
The word precious here is a Hebrew word meaning costly. It is costly to God if someone lets their health deteriorate to the point they kill themselves. Tell her that she is no good to God if she kills herself so she should take some time to get better.
And she needs to do so now, before it gets any worse. When we get sick it can sometimes be a warning to slow down. To take time out.
God loves her too much to lose her and she is too precious to you to lose her so tell her that these others are ignoring the will of God by trying to pressure her like this.
This kind of pressure does not come from the true God at all.
If she was working in a secular job for man would she put that job before her health? I doubt it. She would put her health first and God is no exception. He clearly states that a master (employer) should care for and about his servants and if he says that about man then how much more important must it be for him to keep to that himself?
I hope this all gives you a strong enough reason for her to realise she should not listen to these so called friends who are not her friends.
Not only are “the friends” a great source of pressure but the WBTS puts such an emphasis on going door to door. Her ‘friends’ only THINK they are helping her!
Stress and fatigue can take further toll on her body, especially now. What good would all “the works” in the world be, if she goes into remission due to overexertion? Then she would be no use at all in their preaching work.
If necessary, monitor her phone calls and speak up to them if you get the chance! Let them know that their encouragement is appreciated but they need to back off!
I pray that she has a comfortable stress FREE recovery!